How and why did I became a lolita?

I've always been a little bit different from the other girls, at least in my opinion. When I was very young, my mom used to make me every single piece of clothe I owned. She was mostly sewing cute frilly dresses. I think it is the first thing that influenced me.

They often looked like this.

I didn't really get any influence from middle school. I was really tomboy and looked like a walking skeleton. My mother told me I encountered some periods of anorexia, but at least I can say I'm healthy now. I had another period of that in my first year of high school though. My mother took care of me and I could be happy with my body again. I think it's really important in lolita to be happy with yourself. Self-esteem is what makes you look beautiful!

With my new self-confidence I was able to be happy throughout my whole high school experience. Feeling different and not fit for the modern fashion, I always tried to add little cute accessories in my hair. We were wearing uniforms so I couldn't really build a new wardrobe during that period of time. I came across lolita a couple of times on the internet. I knew I wanted to try it, that I would be very happy wearing those dresses all the time, but a voice inside was keeping me from trying. I knew I didn't have enough confidence yet to bear the judgement of others.

I was often expressing my girly side with cute purses, especially Hello Kitty ones.

The summer after my first year of college (I was around 19 years old), I went to my first cosplay convention. It was one of the greatest experience of my life. It changed my visions of the world completely... I was not alone anymore! There were actually a lot of people like me in my own city. I was so happy even though I had come alone to the event.

The event is called Otakuthon, this was the year 2009 edition.

While waiting in line for the mascarade, I encountered a man who was taking pictures. We soon began to talk and eventually gave each others' email addresses. What I didn't know was that he knew a lot of stuff going on in the city about Japan culture and communities who loved the country and fashion.

The line was huge so we talked a lot.

Later on, I finally got the courage to try lolita. But then I couldn't find anything in the local shops. I asked that same guy if he knew of some shops that could sell lolita clothes here. He told me about a community where I could find some answers that was based in Montréal. I went to the forum, which you can find here:

http://qc-harajuku.top-forum.net/

It's all in French, but almost everyone can write in English.
So I went there and posted a skirt I had bought in a gothic shop (for 100$! D:). I soon received comments saying that it was too short to be lolita even though it was inspired by the fashion. The girls were very nice to me and soon taught me what to buy or not and most importantly where to buy.

I soon bought my first lolita dresses. They were from Bodyline of course. I was so happy when I received them.

And from that moment on, I was officially a beginner sweet lolita. Looking back at those pictures, I see how much I made progress in a single year. I went to lolita meetings when I could (school was getting in the way most of the time) and made a lot of friends. Around other lolitas in my frilly dresses, I feel like I can finally be myself.